How Candid Feedback Multiplies Growth—If You Dare to Ask and Give It

You’re sitting in a Monday morning meeting, and your boss rattles off plans for next week—plans you’re sure just won’t work. You want to speak up but bite your tongue, worried you'll sound difficult. Later, your teammate presents her project, again you hesitate to give honest input. In most places, it feels safer to stay silent. The reality is, most people crave helpful criticism more than empty praise—if it’s delivered well. When feedback is built into the routine, and everyone knows the intent is to help each other, even tough messages become fuel for growth. Netflix, for example, found that constant, candid feedback—given up, down, and sideways—transformed not only individual skills but whole teams, reducing politics and speeding decisions. Research backs this up: while negative feedback triggers our emotional alarms at first, most people recognize its value for improvement. However, for candor to work, there must be trust and clear motives; feedback given to vent frustration or score points damages morale and backfires. Following clear guidelines—feedback must aim to assist and be actionable, and receiving it should always include appreciation and a conscious choice to accept or discard—makes all the difference. If you set the norm that silence is disloyal, you get a culture where everyone helps each other (and the boss) learn and leap forward.

Think about the last time you wished you could say what you really thought in a group setting. Make a commitment this week to carve out regular times for sharing feedback—whether after a practice, class, or shift. Use the 4As: if you’re giving feedback, do it only to help and make your advice practical. When feedback comes your way, fight the urge to get defensive or explain yourself, and instead, say thanks—then decide privately if you’ll act on it. If someone mistakes candor for rudeness, step in and make it clear that the aim is growth. Turn giving and getting honest input into your new normal, and see how fast you improve.