Unlock Personal and Professional Growth by Embracing Public Vulnerability

Tony Hsieh once dreaded public speaking, convinced he needed to memorize every line of his speeches. The night before big events, he’d lie awake, second-guessing whether he'd remember all the details. But audience feedback was consistent: the most memorable moments were always his personal stories and unscripted candor. Realizing no one in the crowd knew what had been 'left out,' Tony started to shift. He decided to speak only about topics he cared deeply about, from culture-building to customer service, and to let his stories guide the talk, even if it meant improvising on stage.

The first time he put his new strategy into practice, he began nervous, hands sweating behind the podium. But soon he found himself telling a story about a surprisingly heartfelt customer letter—he could feel the audience leaning in, nodding along, and, at times, laughing at his self-doubt. The stress dropped away. Not only did the talk flow better, but he also left the stage energized and connected, not drained.

Research by psychologist Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls this state 'flow,' a blend of challenge and immersion that’s vital for peak performance and happiness. By giving up the script, Tony gained more than applause—he grew bolder, more authentic, and found greater satisfaction in his work.

Pick a subject you’re sincerely passionate about and jot down a couple short personal stories that relate, including both wins and stumbles. The next time you speak to a group—big or small—skip the script and share your story from memory, focusing on connecting rather than performing. Notice how it feels to be real and vulnerable, and how your audience responds. Use their reactions to refine your stories, and keep building your confidence by repeating this approach until sharing becomes second nature.