Redefining Success: The Three Kinds of Happiness You’re Not Balancing

If you ask most people what makes life worth living, you'll hear a flurry of answers: time with loved ones, career achievements, giving back, a relaxing beach trip. Behavioral scientists suggest that happiness, in practice, comes in three distinct flavors. First, there’s pleasure—the burst of joy from a perfectly baked cookie, a hug, or applause. Next is passion, sometimes called 'flow'—those moments when you lose yourself in an absorbing challenge and time slips away. Finally, there's purpose—the enduring sense of fulfillment from being part of something meaningful, anchored in your values and connected to others.

Most people unintentionally chase only one or two types. Maybe you fill your calendar with short-term pleasures and forget to seek deeper purpose, or you focus intently on meaningful contributions while missing out on play or the buzz of deep concentration. Independent research confirms that while each type adds to your well-being, only purpose consistently delivers lasting contentment. Flow states renew energy and confidence, while pleasures quickly fade but still provide moments of joy that can spark motivation for more.

Building a rich life means experimenting with your unique mix and adjusting as your situation changes. Like tuning an instrument, the process is ongoing—sometimes a little more bass, sometimes a brighter note. Real success looks less like relentless hustle and more like finding and shifting the right balance for this season.

Grab a piece of paper tonight and create three columns: Pleasure, Passion, and Purpose. Spend five minutes listing activities you’ve done lately in each, noticing which is most and least represented—don’t worry about getting it perfect. Pick one area that feels neglected and commit to a concrete step—maybe an hour just for yourself, volunteering, or diving into a project that absorbs your focus. Try out your new mix this week and see how your mood and energy shift.