The Limits of Suppression—Why Expressing and Managing, Not Avoiding, Is Key to Resilience

For many people, expressing difficult feelings—especially at work or school—brings fear of being judged, rejected, or punished. The urge to stuff things down, cope alone, or fake positivity is both common and understandable, but often leads to misunderstandings, resentment, and even physical health issues over time. The science is clear: open, skillful expression of emotion, when done with care, leads to better mental health, stronger relationships, and greater resilience in the face of adversity.

Consider a manager who, for years, kept silent about workplace frustrations to avoid conflict—only to find himself suddenly overwhelmed one afternoon, snapping at employees and regretting it for weeks. After learning strategies for open, constructive expression, he began stating, 'I'm feeling frustrated about our communication gaps,' followed by a solution-oriented suggestion. The change didn’t happen overnight, but gradually, the entire team became more open, honest, and responsive, turning tense meetings into collaborative problem-solving sessions.

We now know that the key isn’t just to express whatever arises, whenever it arises—it’s to do so with skill and attention to context. The best communicators choose words and timing that signal openness rather than threat, inviting empathy instead of defensiveness. Resilience is built one conversation at a time, through practice, feedback, and willingness to repair when things don’t go perfectly. Over time, those who make a habit of open expression develop stronger personal and professional networks and recover faster from setbacks.

When you notice yourself inclined to bottle up an uncomfortable feeling, pause to ask yourself why and what the risks of continued suppression might be. Make a conscious effort to start expressing your emotions—maybe quietly at first, and with thoughtful words, but honestly and directly. Invite the listener into the conversation, letting them know you’d welcome their response. Afterwards, talk together about what worked and where it was challenging, so you can keep improving your shared approach. Practice this in your everyday conversations and observe how both your confidence and your relationships grow.