Why Permission to Feel Is the Gateway to Thriving

You’ve likely been asked, 'How are you?' in passing hundreds of times, but when was the last time you answered honestly—even to yourself? It’s easy to rush through the day barely noticing your feelings, let alone naming or talking about them. Maybe you grew up in a family where strong feelings were ignored or discouraged, or perhaps you feel awkward sharing anything beyond the usual 'I’m good.' The trouble is, this habit of emotional suppression doesn’t just keep things easy on the surface—it builds up confusion and distance inside, cutting you off from genuine connection with yourself and others.

Several years ago, a friend of mine started pausing briefly in her car before heading into work, asking herself, 'How am I really feeling right now?' Some days she'd discover a low-level hum of anxiety, or an unexpected bubble of excitement, or simply exhaustion she hadn’t owned up to. By taking just sixty seconds to check in, she found she was less likely to snap at coworkers or zone out during meetings. It didn’t make every day perfect, but it made every day a little more honest—and over time, a lot more manageable.

There’s research showing that ignoring or suppressing emotions doesn’t make them fade away. Instead, they show up elsewhere: as stress, irritability, or burnout. In contrast, allowing yourself to recognize and share emotions creates a feedback loop of self-compassion and practical action. It’s a new mindset—permission to feel—that often marks the first step toward real self-awareness and more satisfying relationships. The practice isn’t about indulging every mood or wallowing in discomfort, but about giving every feeling a seat at the table so that none of them have to sabotage you from the background.

Behavioral science suggests that when you label and express your feelings—even the tough ones—you gain clarity, reduce stress, and improve your ability to make wise choices. The permission to feel isn’t just a soft skill; it’s a necessary foundation for growth in every area of life.

Each day, give yourself permission to feel by setting aside a minute to quietly check in and ask, 'How am I feeling right now?' Don’t judge, just notice—even if what surfaces is vague or uncomfortable. Take the risk to share a slice of your emotional reality with someone you trust or jot it down where only you will see. If an impulse to stuff down or gloss over a feeling shows up, gently press pause and ask yourself what’s really going on underneath. This practice is about building honesty with yourself and others, one small moment at a time. Try it the next time you feel like giving the automatic 'I’m fine.'