Addiction to Ritual—How Compulsion Numbs Pain and Fuels Self-Loathing

Compulsions—from cleaning to self-injury, overeating to reckless behavior—often aren’t about what they seem. Behavioral psychology shows us they’re not just about wanting clean floors or seeking pleasure. Instead, they work as rituals that help mask or drown out underlying pain, anxiety, or memories. For some, the focus and repetition produce a sense of false control. For others, the consequences—pain, mess, or trouble—spent themselves against a deeper well of guilt or self-loathing.

These rituals can become addictive. The brain learns to crave the brief relief that comes with acting out, even if that relief fades quickly or is followed by regret. Over time, the cycle tightens: distress triggers a ritual, which soothes in the moment but makes things worse in the long run. Only by breaking the cycle with a small, healthy alternative can the grip of compulsion loosen, and new habits form.

What matters most isn’t avoiding all urges or fixing everything overnight. The turning point comes when a person interrupts their ritual once, proving that the need to act out is not fate. It’s a signal and can be listened to, learned from, and, eventually, outgrown.

Think about the repetitive routines you fall back on in times of stress—maybe obsessively cleaning, overeating, or losing yourself in your phone. Jot down a few moments when this urge hit and identify what set it off—arguments, sadness, or boredom. Brainstorm at least three healthier alternatives that you could realistically try as soon as you notice the urge next time, like a quick walk, listening to music, or texting someone you trust. Then, try one of these before diving into your usual comfort ritual and see how it feels.