Doing Hard Things Side by Side Grows Empathy and Resilience—for Kids and Adults Alike

You worry about how your child, student, or teammate will respond to new challenges. But when you step up to do the hard thing together—like taking on a difficult hike, learning a dance, or conquering a technical project—you quickly see that difficulty isn’t the enemy. At the campsite, setting up tents without your usual support, you discover you forgot the instructions. Everyone laughs and improvises, and a child (or coworker) surprises you by solving a key puzzle. When a squirrel raids your snacks or nerves threaten to derail the day's success, you admit your own fear and let encouragement flow both ways.

Later that night, after the fire’s burned down and everyone’s tired, you acknowledge just how proud you are—not just of making it through, but of facing something genuinely tough together. You notice your child remembering this moment weeks later, or yourself referencing the teamwork at a tough meeting. The discomfort, embarrassment, and laughter all become part of a shared 'we did it' moment and a permanent reference for future challenges.

Extensive research on empathy and stress inoculation confirms that when adults and children attempt difficult things together, modeling vulnerability and teamwork, everyone internalizes resilience and kindness at a deeper level. It’s not only kids who grow; adults become more compassionate and self-aware, too.

Pick an activity that feels tough for both you and your partner—don’t fake confidence, but instead show up honestly and let your guard down. Make it a point to let others see your process of frustration, asking for help, and celebrating small wins along the way. Debrief generously, affirming each other’s efforts especially when things didn’t go perfectly, and notice how much it shifts your understanding and your relationship. It’s these honest, shared struggles that build unshakable bonds and teach lifelong empathy, so get out there and tackle one together soon.