Acceptance Is a Process—And Your Feelings About ADHD Shape Your Child’s Ability to Thrive

Dr. Sharon Saline grew up watching her brother struggle with untreated ADHD at a time when little was understood about the condition. Her parents’ frustration—sometimes distant, sometimes intrusive—set the tone for family life. As a therapist, Dr. Saline saw hundreds of families repeat similar cycles: shame, blame, desperation, and, eventually, a slow shift toward acceptance. She noticed that the way parents handled their own emotional reactions profoundly shaped their child’s self-worth and hope for change. Families who grieved what they wished was different, but then accepted their child’s unique mind, found more effective paths forward.

In her work, Dr. Saline encouraged candid conversations: what does the diagnosis mean? Is it just a medical label, or something that colors identity in both challenging and rich ways? She heard children describe ADHD as 'bullet brain' or 'having an idea brain,' embracing difference rather than seeing it as defective. When parents made space for all the feelings—worry and pride, annoyance and joy—children felt seen and known for who they really are. Acceptance didn’t erase struggles, but it gave families the resilience to keep navigating setbacks and savor successes.

Psychological frameworks like 'narrative identity' confirm that open discussion and positive reframing allow children and families to integrate differences into a coherent, proud sense of self. This integration, more than any specific therapy or trick, lays the foundation for long-term well-being.

Spend some quiet time reflecting on your own feelings since your child was diagnosed—be honest about the relief, fears, confusion, or even anger you’ve felt. Bring these emotions into open conversation, both with supportive adults and with your child, creating space for them to define what ADHD means in their life. Encourage stories about strengths alongside difficulties, helping normalize difference and build a shared language that is both realistic and hopeful. This will support your whole family’s resilience and unity as you navigate challenges together.