Expanding the Circle—Teaching Kids to Care Beyond Their Immediate Group

Kids are naturally drawn to people who are just like them—classmates who share their taste in cartoons, neighbors who play the same games. This in-group bias isn’t just social—it’s hardwired into the human brain, making it both a strength (for bonding) and a limitation (when it comes to empathy).

Helping kids widen their 'circle of concern'—from immediate family and friends to include those who look, think, or live differently—requires intention. It might start small, like sharing a lunch with the quiet child at school, or bigger, like writing to a child from another part of the world. Each encounter challenges their assumptions and builds understanding. Questions become safe, not shameful: 'Why is that person in a wheelchair?' or 'How come our neighbor celebrates different holidays?'

Exposure isn't just about diversity for diversity’s sake. It's about growing empathy—helping kids imagine what it’s like to feel left out or misunderstood, and giving them safe ways to practice reaching out. Behavioral science shows that empathy grows from repeated, supported encounters—with enough reflection to turn discomfort into compassion and knowledge.

This month, draw three circles together with your child and label the people they know and those they don’t. Hunt for opportunities to expose your family to a new culture, event, or story—maybe it’s reading a book, attending a community festival, or writing to a pen pal. Next time someone asks about difference, invite more questions and brainstorm together how to offer a small gesture of kindness. Over time, you’ll see your child’s sense of empathy and courage grow. Try adding one new experience this week.