How the Wrong Kind of Praise Can Sabotage Motivation and Learning

Thomas, a fifth-grader who’d always been labeled 'the smart one,' breezed through schoolwork—until cursive handwriting became a requirement. Instead of trying, he shut down, refusing to even attempt it for weeks. When his father encouraged him by reminding him he was smart, the tactic backfired; Thomas grew more resistant, convinced that struggle was proof he wasn't smart after all. His school, as it turns out, was typical: many high-achieving students who had been praised for their intellect showed less resilience and more fear of mistakes than peers who were recognized for their persistence.

Psychological studies back this up: when students are praised for intelligence, they tend to avoid harder tasks and give up quickly in the face of difficulty. In contrast, when students receive feedback highlighting their effort, they willingly tackle greater challenges and recover from setbacks more quickly. The science explains that focusing on effort builds a 'growth mindset'—the belief that abilities develop with practice.

Even teachers who understand this approach struggle to implement it at home, where it's easy to slip into old habits of global praise. Yet, when they concentrate on specific feedback, like acknowledging a child’s focus or improvement, they observe dramatic shifts in attitude and willingness to learn.

Ultimately, redirecting praise to effort rather than intellect helps children see themselves as capable of improvement—building a foundation for lifelong learning and resilience.

Next time you’re about to compliment a child, pause and ask yourself what they did, rather than who they are. Try switching from 'You’re so smart' to a comment about the effort or strategy you witnessed, like, 'You really kept at that tough spot, and it paid off.' When you notice a child taking on a challenge—even if they haven’t succeeded yet—acknowledge the bravery and perseverance it took to step up. If they stumble, invite them to talk through what happened and what they might try differently next time. With each specific, effort-centered praise, you give children the tools to see themselves as learners who grow through hard work. Give it a try during your next interaction.