How understanding trade-offs—and that perfect safety doesn’t exist—enables braver, more satisfying choices

Hard - Requires significant effort Recommended

Take a deep breath and notice the restless flicker of your thoughts, the cortisol spike each time a new warning or risk alert crosses your mind. It’s easy to feel trapped, constantly calibrating and recalibrating. But sit with the knowledge that there’s no way to engineer perfect safety, no absolute guarantee. Instead, let yourself explore the idea of trade-offs: sometimes, enjoying your favorite meal or connecting with friends trumps the slim chance of a negative outcome.

In the quiet of a late evening, you lay a hand on your growing belly, feeling both excitement and uncertainty. The glow from your phone dings with yet another notification, this time about some new toxin or recall. Instead of spiraling, you jot down what you’re gaining—companionship, joy, peace of mind—and what you stand to lose. Every path has an opportunity cost, and every good decision boards a balance between benefits and risks that can’t be erased, only managed.

Behavioral science highlights that people who recognize uncertainty and make peace with it tend to feel less anxious, make braver choices, and live more fully. It’s about practicing self-compassion and intentional letting go.

When you find yourself frozen by the need for absolute certainty, pause and list both the upside and downside to every path—what you enjoy, what you value, and what tiny risks remain. Give yourself permission to opt for what matters most, even if you can’t control every outcome. Remind yourself that wise choices, not perfect ones, lead to a life (or pregnancy) that feels good and real. Try this mindset tonight, and see if it gives you the freedom to move ahead.

What You'll Achieve

Reduce anxiety by accepting the limits of certainty, build emotional resilience, and confidently enjoy meaningful experiences despite small risks.

Accept and Manage Uncertainty—Don’t Chase Impossible Perfection

1

Acknowledge That Zero Risk Is Unattainable.

Remind yourself that in health and life, no decision can eliminate all risk.

2

Identify the Trade-Offs in Your Biggest Worry.

Write down what you might gain and what you might lose with each path (e.g., complete avoidance of possible harm vs. missing out on meaningful activities).

3

Choose What’s Worth Accepting, and Make Peace With Remaining Uncertainty.

Consciously accept that some unknowns will always exist, and focus on whether the benefit to you is worth the small, lingering risk.

Reflection Questions

  • Where are you chasing perfection when good enough would serve better?
  • What trade-offs really matter to you, and what are you willing to accept?
  • How can you practice greater self-kindness and acceptance around uncertainty?

Personalization Tips

  • A parent realizes that banning all social events to avoid every possible germ causes more harm to mental health than the minor risk it averts.
  • An expecting athlete accepts some uncertainty in moderate exercise because the gain in energy and wellbeing is worth it.
  • A student acknowledges she can’t control every diet variable but will focus on what matters most and release the rest.
Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong - and What You Really Need to Know
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Expecting Better: Why the Conventional Pregnancy Wisdom is Wrong - and What You Really Need to Know

Emily Oster
Insight 7 of 8

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