Use the right strategies to communicate and negotiate effectively

Choose the right words
When making a statement, use the word ‘I’ and convey your feelings. For example, you can say “I don’t want you to shout at me” instead of “Please don’t shout at me.” Use moderate words rather than emotional or extreme words that come from your Chimp. For example, “I’m not keen on watching this movie” is better than “I cannot stand this movie.” Expressing yourself this way will evoke less emotion in the other person and defuse any potential argument.

Ensure that it’s the right time for the conversation
If you want to talk to someone, ensure that the person has enough time to listen to you. Ensure that you have adequate time to cover all your talking points. If the conversation is rushed, the communication may not be as effective. If the timing isn’t right, you can stay quiet until a more opportune moment arises.

Check that it’s an appropriate place for the conversation
Make sure that the location is quiet, peaceful, or private enough for both of you to concentrate on the conversation without anyone interrupting or eavesdropping.

Establish a reasonable agenda before the conversation
State your agenda at the start of the conversation and stick to it throughout. Ask the other person whether they have their agenda before you begin speaking. Avoid coming into a conversation with a hidden agenda as this may trigger the other person to become confused and defensive.

Figure out the best form of communication
Will you be speaking in person, via text, email, or letter? Emails and letters give you time to construct your message carefully before sending it. They also allow the other person enough time to think about their response. If you settle on an in-person conversation, then be careful about your body language, intonation, and use of words.