Understand the emotions you avoid.

Now that you know the emotions you try to avoid, you will be able to understand why you make the decisions you do, and you may even be able to see the true reason for the conflicts in your life—this is the first step toward resolving them.


  1. Learn the eight “moving-away-from” values.
    These are the emotions/values we’ll do the most to avoid feeling. They are: rejection, anger, frustration, loneliness, depression, failure, humiliation, and guilt.

  2. Arrange them in order of importance.
    Rank these values from 1 to 8, where 1 is the value you are most likely to avoid, and 8 is the value you are least likely to avoid.
    Number 1 on your list is the value that determines your behavior in most environments.


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