Train yourself to understand the behaviors others exhibit
from The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker
How to Apply This
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Choose a situation to explore for this exercise: ideally, a situation you are/were in that also involves someone other than yourself.
You can choose something from your past, or something current. -
Describe the situation.
Write down the key contextual information, like where it happened, who it involved, what happened, how it happened, etc. -
Gather as much information as you can about the other person involved.
Ask other people about the person and their life (colleagues, friends, family members, employers, neighbors), or talk to them directly and observe their responses. -
Put yourself in the person’s shoes. Describe what they could be feeling, thinking, and believing.
Stick to 1-2 words for each category. -
Ask common-sense questions.
In the context of predicting violence, these would be:
- Do they have a reason to be violent? [yes/no]
- Do they perceive any alternatives to violence? [yes/no]
- Do they feel that violence will have favorable consequences for them? [yes/no]
- Do they have the ability to carry out violence? [yes/no] -
Now, evaluate their likely outcomes and behaviors.
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