Take control of your boundaries


  1. Realize that someone who gets angry when you set boundaries has their own issues..
    Understand that when someone reacts negatively to your boundaries, it is more about their character than it is about the situation. Recognize that they may feel entitled to things they are not entitled to.
  2. Don't let someone else's anger dictate your actions.
    Understand that someone else's anger is their own emotion and cannot harm you unless you let it. Don't let their out-of-control behavior change what you do.
  3. Lean on your support system and plan your response.
    Reach out to people in your support system and plan how you will respond to the other person's anger. Anticipate what they might say and plan your own response accordingly. Keep a loving attitude while speaking your truth.
  4. Be ready to enforce physical distance and consequences.
    Let the other person know that you will not tolerate being yelled at and that you will leave the situation until they are ready to have a respectful conversation.
  5. Recognize guilt messages for what they are.
    Be open to feedback, but understand that guilt messages are often a way for someone to manipulate and control you. Recognize that the sender is likely feeling angry about what you are doing.
  6. Understand that guilt messages may be a mask for hurt and sadness.
    Realize that someone may be using guilt messages to express their own feelings of hurt or sadness. Don't let their guilt affect your actions, and respond with love and boundaries.
  7. Don't feel the need to justify or explain yourself, and interpret their messages as being about their own emotions.
    You don't owe anyone an explanation for your boundaries. Instead, interpret their messages as being about their own emotions, and respond with statements like, "It sounds like you are upset about my decision," or "I'm sorry you feel that way."


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