Set internal goals

Pick a life goal.
Start by choosing a life goal you want to work on. It could be getting a new job, being more financially stable, improving your relationship, etc.

Consider which aspects of that goal you control.
Now that you already have your goal, start thinking about which aspects you control. For example, if you want to be more financially stable, you control how much you spend on non-essentials. However, you don’t control unexpected expenses or the cost of your mortgage and utility bills.

Reframe your goal and internalize it.
Finally, reframe that goal and internalize it so that it will be based on things you personally control. Using the example of financial stability, a simple goal to save a certain amount each month doesn’t work. External factors like increased costs or a sudden expense will make that goal impossible. Instead, you should set an internal goal to cut spending on non-essentials by a certain amount. This is something you have full control over.