Search for threads of similarity.

When socializing, use “people, context, interests” to search for similarities.
Here’s how it works:

• People: If you’re at an event, try asking the following: how they know the host, if they have known them for a long time, or how they know someone else you saw them connect with.
• Context: Ask the person if they’ve been in this group for a while or if they like the event.
• Interests: Notice their outfit and find something such as a hat, pen, or shirt logo you can relate to. Ask them how long they have been a fan of such-and-such.

Once you find one similar thread, keep digging deeper!
Use whys to get into a deeper conversation. Try using why at least five times in the conversation. E.g., “I read you went to Colorado State University—me too! Why did you choose CSU?”

Find a reason to help them in an area they’re either new or weak at.
Are they new in town or visiting? Suggest a restaurant or place they might want to check out. Are they studying mindfulness and you happen to have finished a book on that you can lend? You get the point. So by helping out, you create the biggest similarity, as you’ve been there yourself.