Recognize the crucial conversations in your life

Identify problems or goals in your life.
Most crucial conversations start with a problem or a goal. For example, you may be asking for a promotion or a raise or making a decision about the future of your relationship. Alternatively, you may have a problem in a relationship or a dispute with a coworker. When you think about goals or problems in your life, consider the people involved and the conversations you must have to resolve the issue or reach the goal.

Use your crucial conversation checklist.
Ask yourself: 
 - Are there opposing opinions?
 - Are the stakes high?
 - Are there emotions involved?
If the answer is yes to these questions, it is a crucial conversation.

Consider the possible outcomes.
For example, if you are having a crucial conversation with a partner about your relationship, could it mean breaking up if it goes wrong? On the other hand, will the conversation strengthen your relationship if handled correctly? Usually, if the outcomes are extreme, that is a good sign that this is a crucial conversation.