Mars and Venus Starting Over
Emotional intelligence
Process your emotional hot spots
from Mars and Venus Starting Over: A Practical Guide for Finding Love Again After a Painful Breakup, Divorce, or the Loss of a Loved One by John Gray
How to Apply This
- Practice the power of remembering so you can link your present feeling back to your past:
Put some soothing background music and ask yourself questions about the past. You can look at some photos to help trigger your memory. Some example questions include: When was the last time you eventually succeeded? When was the last time you depended on someone? When was the last time you got what you wanted? - Relive the memory.
This doesn’t have to be the clearest memory; it can be faint or a little vague. Imagine what you felt as you relive the memory. Reprocessing the same event is fine, or you can explore new ones. - Enrich the experience and imagine you can share your feelings with a trusted person and process your hurt.
Do the “Feeling Better” exercise by first writing a letter to the person/people involved in your chosen experience, writing a response letter to what you’ve written, and expressing your feelings of forgiveness, understanding, and gratitude.
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