Practice getting comfortable in uncomfortable situations.
from The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane
When you constantly try to avoid the sensation of discomfort, you will never become comfortable with it. And you will have many situations in life that make you uncomfortable. It is best not to fight it, but to get comfortable with the discomfort. It may sound counterintuitive, but this simply works. So, instead of avoiding unpleasant sensations, it’s better to delve into them fully.
How to Apply This
This is an exercise that you can do with a friend in order to become more comfortable with the feeling of discomfort. Once you start the exercise, you can’t look at the instructions, so read them twice to remember the steps.
You can also use an audio recording as guidance:
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Set a timer for 30 seconds, and look into your partner’s eyes.
For the remainder of the exercise, hold your gaze. -
When it becomes uncomfortable, pay close attention to it.
Where are the feelings located in your body? Exactly how do they feel? -
Dive into each sensation as much as you can.
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How does this sensation manifest itself physically?
For example, do you feel tension in your stomach? -
Name the sensations that you feel.
Imagine that you are a scientist, and you want to investigate the sensations in detail. -
When you feel the urge to break the discomfort by laughing, talking, or in any other way, resist it.
Get comfortable with the sensation instead of avoiding it.
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