Listen to your anger


  1. Let anger in.
    Firstly, stop resisting anger when it comes up. If somebody says something that upsets you and you feel that anger building, don’t push it down. The same is true if you are alone and suddenly start feeling irritated and angry. Your emotions have something to say, so let them in.
  2. Consider the source of the anger.
    Next, consider the source of the anger. It might be obvious, especially in interactions with other people. If it’s anger at something, somebody said, consider the deeper reasons why it made you angry. Is it bringing up painful emotions or making you feel attacked in some way, for example? When you are alone and feel angry, is it related to past trauma or an unresolved conflict with somebody?
  3. Act on the emotion.
    When you understand the source of the anger, act on it. This doesn’t mean you have to be hostile; you can actually act on anger and remain calm. For example, if somebody says something that upsets you, calmly explain why and ask them to refrain from saying similar things in the future. If your anger is caused by something in your own life, face up to those past traumas instead of deflecting them.
  4. Let it go.
    Once you have acted on the anger, it has served its purpose. You will find it easy to let go and move on because you have listened to the emotion instead of pushing it down and avoiding it.


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