Listen to others to infer their interests
from How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes
How to Apply This
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While discussing any topic, say less and listen more.
Imagine a giant revolving spotlight is shining on the one who is speaking. If you shine it brightly enough on your partner, the stranger will be blinded to the fact that you have hardly said a word about yourself. The longer you keep it shining away from you, the more interesting they will find you. -
Keep your ears open and listen to every word for clues to his or her preferred topic.
Be on the lookout for any unusual references: any anomaly, deviation, digression, or invocation of another place, time, person. -
Then, spring on that subject.
By surprising them with your knowledge of their interests, you will surely sound like a fascinating individual. -
Start your sentences with "you".
Using “you” frequently will help you maintain your listener's attention. For example, “You look great in that suit.” sounds better than “I like your suit.” -
State the reason when you say “Thank You”.
For example, "Thank you for coming." or "Thank you for being so understanding."
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