Learn to say NO
from The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence by Gavin de Becker
How to Apply This
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Practice saying “No.” as a full sentence.
Say it without any excuses, justifications, or qualifiers. Stand in front of a mirror, or practice with a friend. Say it as many times as you need to for it to feel natural. -
Back up your spoken “No” with your actions.
Use the “No” stance (arms extended, palms facing away) for more emphasis. Remember to stick to your “No”, especially with strangers—do not negotiate or give in. -
Remember that you do not have to be nice or polite when you are truly afraid, feeling threatened, or concerned for your safety.
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Adapt your “No” for the situations you are likely to find yourself in.
For example, “No, I don’t want your help.”, “No, I’m not interested in talking to you.”, “No, I don’t want to go with you.” -
Notice and be wary when someone ignores, discounts, or repeatedly tries to get you to change your “No.”
This is a clear danger signal that they are trying to control you or your behavior.
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