Hold Me Tight
Romantic relationships
Identify your raw spots.

Identify your raw spots.

from Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson

How to Apply This

  1. Find your raw spot reaction patterns.
    Write about situations when a lack of response from your partner suddenly affected your sense of security with your lover or when you reacted too emotionally. Where do these reactions come from - how was your relationship with your parents, relatives, and ex-partners?

  2. Find the real reason for your inadequate emotional reaction.
    Fill empty spots: 
    In this incident, the trigger for my raw feeling was ______. On the surface, I probably showed _______. But deep down, I felt _______ (pick one of the basic negative emotions, sadness, anger, shame, fear). What I longed for was _______. The main message I got about our bond, about me or my love, was _______.

  3. Share your vulnerability with your partner.
    Start a conversation about the importance of sharing vulnerabilities. Tell your partner if you find it challenging to share your deep wounds with him, and he will probably admit the same to you. That way, you open the door to an honest conversation and share your wounds.

Why Use Mentorist?

  • Track your progress and build lasting habits
  • Get personalized reminders to stay on track
  • Access hundreds of book summaries with actionable steps
  • Transform knowledge into action in just 15 minutes a day

Ready to Take Action?

Download Mentorist to track your progress, get personalized reminders, and turn this insight into a lasting habit.