Identify and dismantle your unique limiting beliefs


  1. Reflect on what may be preventing you from creating healthy boundaries.
    Write down a list of all the negative things you and others have said about your self-worth and capabilities. For example, “I’m terrible at math,” “I’m too sensitive,I’m too broken,” or “I can never find true love.” Challenge these beliefs and then replace them with a new set of personal truths.
  2. Decode the underlying patterns behind your conflicts.
    Think of someone you’re constantly in conflict with, for example, your boss or spouse. Ask yourself: Who does this person remind me of? Have I felt like this in the past? How is this situation familiar to me? You’ll realize that the person represents someone who traumatized you during childhood. Use this awareness to dig deeper into the trauma and how it’s affecting your current relationships.
  3. Create a resentment inventory.
    Assess your current emotions to identify where your resentment is coming from. Ask yourself: Is there anything I’m feeling resentful about? Which areas of my life do I feel most hurt, unseen or unheard? Which past experiences do I still feel resentful about? Write down your thoughts. You can write a letter to the person you’re resentful toward and then burn it. You can also have a conversation with them if you wish.


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