- Be mindful and pay attention to the needs of others.
When you are mindful, you notice the needs of others and can easily shift your attention to their needs.
- Use soft tones to start conversations or to express your needs and intentions.
This will put the other party in the right mood to listen to you. For example, you could start a conversation with your boss by saying, “Remember when we talked about my performance last month? That was really helpful. Can we discuss them again?” instead of saying, “I’m fed up with this job. I feel like you expect me to perform miracles and it’s not going to happen”.
- State helpful complaints instead of harmful criticisms.
Complaints are worth the trouble because they help to understand each other and to solve problems, while criticisms hurt people’s feelings and result in increased tension, resentment, and defensiveness. For example, say, “You said you will deliver the package but didn't do it” instead of, “You forgot to deliver the package. That’s irresponsible”.
- Take a break from conversations when you start feeling tense, nervous, or stressed.
Do something you find soothing for at least 20 minutes. For example, read a magazine, watch TV or go for a run. This will help you relax enough to either continue discussing the problem or schedule it for a later date.
- Make conscious efforts to appreciate others and your environment.
Instead of getting bogged down in people’s faults and mistakes, make conscious efforts to search for reasons to say “Thank You”.
- Have the conversations that are necessary.
The things you don’t say can harm a relationship. Many arguments stem from issues that people need to discuss but never do.
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