Hold Me Tight
Romantic relationships
Check the A.R.E. in your relationship.

Check the A.R.E. in your relationship.

from Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love by Sue Johnson

How to Apply This

  1. Check if your partner is accessible to you.
    Ask yourself: Can I get my partner's attention? Is it easy to connect with my partner? Does my partner show me that I am his priority? Do I always feel connected and not alone? Can I share my deepest feelings with my partner?

  2. Check if your partner responds to you.
    Ask yourself: Does my partner comfort me when I need it? Can I lean on my partner when I’m feeling anxious? Am I still important to my partner even when we fight? Does my partner assure me I am important to him when I feel insecure?

  3. Check are you positively or emotionally engaged with each other
    Ask yourself: Do I feel comfortable when I am close to my partner and trust him? Do I feel connected to my partner, even when we are apart? Do I feel that my partner cares about my emotions? Do I feel safe taking emotional risks with my partner?

  4. Evaluate your answers.
    You probably feel profoundly bonded with your partner if you have more than seven positive answers.

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