How to Raise an Adult
Raising children
Build resilience in your children.

Build resilience in your children.

from How to Raise an Adult: Break Free of the Overparenting Trap and Prepare Your Kid for Success by Julie Lythcott-Haims

How to Apply This

  1. Be present in your child’s life.
    Show them you love them by taking an interest in them—ask them about their day and talk to them about their interests, ideas, experiences, and concerns. Most importantly, support them through their hard times. .

  2. Know when to back off.
    Allow your child to make choices such as choosing their outfits, managing their time between play and work, etc. Don’t micromanage them, and be supportive when they make a mistake. It’s the only way they can learn!

  3. Help them grow from experience.
    Let your child tell you about what they have learned after they have had a learning experience. If they have a problem with something, help them figure out a solution. You can offer advice, but don’t do all the work for them! Set the bar higher each time so your child has an opportunity to grow. However, remind them that perfection is unnecessary; they just need to give their best effort.

  4. Focus on building character.
    Reward them when they are good, and encourage them to participate in community service to develop perspective.

  5. Give specific, authentic feedback.
    Praise and criticize exactly what your child does accordingly. Refrain from generic praises/criticisms. Instead, identify what you’re proud of/disappointed in and inform your child of it.

  6. Model resilience.
    Show your child how you reflect on experiences, solve the problems in your life, deal with disappointment, etc. Let them learn from watching you!

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