Unconditional Parenting
Raising children
Adopt the unconditional parenting approach
from Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn
How to Apply This
- Observe how your child feels and thinks, not just behaves.
Instead of just looking at the child's behavior, try to figure out what they think, feel, and why. This will help you understand them more. - Change your perspective of human nature.
Perceive the child's misbehavior as the product of their innocence, inexperience, and lack of knowledge of the consequences rather than as a reflection of negative human nature (mean, selfish, etc.). - Change your perspective of parental love.
Assure your child that you will always love them, no matter what, even when they make mistakes. Do not send the message that a parent's love depends on the kid obeying the parent's demands. - Exclude punishment.
Keep in mind that punishment is a conditional parenting technique. Instead, engage with your child to solve problems through understanding, respect, conversations, and explanation.
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