Activate your charisma


  1. Avoid diminishers and be direct.
    Avoid diminishing language such as “I was just wondering” or “Can I ask a stupid question?” It is also advisable to avoid using words that convey caution, like "sort of," "more or less," or "seems." Be direct and say what you want to say instead.
  2. Shift your focus to the other person.
    You attract other people’s attention by giving them yours. By asking questions, you can shift your attention from yourself to the other person.
  3. Speak in a low register.
    When we're nervous, we often close our throats, which raises the pitch of our voices or makes them sound creaky, which irritates other people. Having a high, constricted voice implies fear or tension, making it less persuasive. In contrast, speaking in your natural low register demonstrates confidence. People are more likely to pay attention to you when you speak in your natural low register because it's a comfortable, confident voice.
  4. Take a full body pause.
    While listeners' thoughts are catching up with the present moment, full-body pauses allow you to connect with them. The act of pausing not only conveys confidence but also requires it. There's something particularly helpful about full-body pauses, during which you don't walk, fidget, or make dramatic hand movements, but are instead breathing normally, your hands resting comfortably by your sides.
  5. To connect to many, connect to one person.
    Keep your gaze locked on only one person in the audience. Open your heart and speak to them only. Give this person your focused energy until they feel a connection with you.


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