Abandon the values that lead you to problems that can hardly be solved.
Some problems just can’t be solved, unless you realize that they aren’t actually problems in the first place. The most common unsolvable problem people have is the lack of pleasure in their lives. This leads them to look for it in self-destructive ways. When you pursue happiness instead, pleasure automatically follows.
Another unsolvable problem is wanting material success. We tend to measure our self-worth based on how much money we make,what kind of car we drive, or how big our house is, but this kind of thinking is toxic and detrimental to our happiness. In fact, research indicates that all humans need to be happy is to have our basic physical needs fulfilled
Realize that pleasure is not the cause of happiness.
It is just the effect. Pursue true happiness, and you will get pleasure as the byproduct.
Refrain from materialism.
Do your best to avoid placing too much importance on material success. Instead, measure your self-worth with your behavior, ie. how you act, how you treat others, etc.
Make a list of the problems you are currently facing.
Grab a piece of paper and a pen and write them down. For example, you may feel like you are unsuccessful.
Identify the values you hold that lead to each problem.
For example, you may feel unsuccessful as you do not have a big house or expensive car. This means that you value material success.
Evaluate each value to determine whether it is the root cause of an unsolvable problem. If it is, abandon it!
For example, valuing material success creates the unsolvable problem of feeling unsuccessful because there is always something bigger or better to buy/own. Once you recognize this, you can abandon that value and choose to measure your success by a different standard.